Yes I am single. But the worldwide web has decided I am single & black.

My admittedly limited understanding of the worldwide web includes a few conspiracy theories regarding data-mining & phishing.  When I buy a pair of boots online I expect to be slammed with pop-ups & emails filled with capitalistic roadmaps of the "If you like boots, you'll LOVE our shoes!!!" ilk.

That said, I was surprised to receive this email yesterday.

While I am in fact single (easily determined by my failure to visit sites such as Buy Buy Baby and/or Weddings R Us); I am not black.

I hung out in L.A. last month with my friend Henry for a few days.  Henry is black & a handsome fella to boot.  I was with my friend Monica this past Saturday.  Her mother is white but her father is black, so she's got beautiful café au lait skin.  Have the public surveillance cameras become so eerily pervasive that this hang time with two people of color was reported back to Black Dating?  Do the phishers assume that my current relationships with black people are lacking?  Because I'm pretty sure Monica would take issue with that and she's got a temper.  And Henry?  Don't get me started.

While I appreciate the internet taking the time and trouble out of its busy schedule to concern itself with my love life, surely it must realize that they needn't email me offers such as this:

There is room for just one darling Asian chick in my life.  That would be my niece, neighbor and blogging partner, Juney.   Don't tell the internet, but she is actually Vietnamese.  Once the worldwide web realizes her ethnicity I'm afraid I'll be inundated with two-for-one Pho coupons and "Free Spring Rolls With $20 Purchase" offers.